Popular local website group Gothamist (which is also responsible for DCist, LAist, Chicagoist, and others) ran on its websites today the intriguingly titled: “How To Go To Cuba Right Now: A Travel Primer.”  You can guess what I think of that article by my title for this post: “How To Go To Jail Right Now: A Gothamist Primer.”

The Primer is authored by Tod Seelie, who appears to be a talented photographer, who describes his trip to Cuba.  He said he wanted to go to see the old cars, the crumbling buildings and the beaches.  Wondering if it was as “easy as buying a ticket online,” he bought a ticket from a website.  He notes he “checked ‘journalistic activity,’ though my visa ultimately identified me only as a tourist.”  And he was off.

The rest of his story details how to get an AirBNB room, the different currencies for locals and tourists, the drinkability of the water, the cost of cabs, the absence of soap in bathrooms,  the skimpy miniskirts worn by Cuban customs agents, and how hard it was for him to understand Cuban Spanish because they drop their s’s at the end of words. Finally, he noted that on the way back from what appeared to be more a vacation than anything else, the only question he was asked by the CBP agent was “Did you have fun?”

Nowhere in the article does Seelie do anything to rebut the likely assumption by his readers that anybody who wants to bop around Old Havana for a weekend getaway can just book an online ticket, sign on to AirBNB to book a room, stuff a moneybelt with cash and head off for sun and mojitos. As readers of this blog know, but readers of blogs in the Gothamist empire probably won’t know, you can’t just go to Cuba as a tourist. You have to go for one of the permitted reasons set forth in the regulations.

What about Mr. Seelie? Did he break the rules? Well, he has a colorable case that he is a journalist, since the regulations include in the definition in section 515.563 “a freelance journalist with a record of previous journalistic experience working on a freelance journalistic project.” Mr. Seelie’s bio suggests he’s published some pictures in some newspapers so we’ll give him this. But, but, but, there’s this in the rules:

The traveler’s schedule of activities does not include free time or recreation in excess of that consistent with a full-time schedule.

You be the judge whether Mr. Seelie was in Cuba for full-time journalism and incidental fun or full-time fun and incidental journalism.

UPDATE:  The article in Gothamist was written by Lauren Evans; Mr. Seelie accompanied her to Cuba to take photographs.  Although Ms. Evans clearly fits, in my view, the definition of a journalist under section 515.563, she still leaves the impression that anyone can hop on a plane and go to Cuba, which, of course, is dead wrong and can lead to an unpleasant encounter with OFAC.  And the question still remains whether she, in addition to Mr. Seelie, was there for full time journalism and incidental fun or full-time fun and incidental journalism.

Yesterday, the Office of Foreign Assets Control issued “guidance” on the new Cuba travel regulations. In fact, the “guidance” says little that isn’t already in the regulations, but it does serve as a reminder of at least one of the quirks in the Cuba sanctions that persists despite recent reforms.

In particular, the guidance points out that the regulations only provide for the transport of authorized travel between the United States by aircraft. No cruises allowed, unless the boat gets a specific license to provide service to Cuba for persons authorized to go to Cuba.

Now let’s dive down the rabbit hole into the “Wonderland” of export control, where if OFAC and the Bureau of Industry and Security (“BIS”) “had a world of [their] own, everything would be nonsense.”

You might think that once the boat got a license to provide service to Cuba, that would be the end of it, right?

(“‘You don’t know much,’ said the Duchess, ‘And that’s a fact.'”)

No, because OFAC licenses providing the travel service to Cuba and BIS licenses the export of the boat to Cuba.

(“At last the Dodo said, ‘everybody has won, and all must have prizes.'”)

And, yes, once the boat crosses into Cuban waters, you’ve “exported” the boat to Cuba, even if the boat turns around and heads straight back for the United States.

(“‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'”)

If travel is provided by an airplane “of U.S. registry operating under an Air Carrier Operating Certificate” instead of a boat, then the short little foray into Cuban territory is covered by License Exception AVS, and no license is required.

(“When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!”)

So what is the difference, for any conceivable policy purposes, between an airplane and a boat?

(“The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, ‘Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'”)

All I can figure, is that a boat is more comfortable and has better food than the coach cabin of an airplane and the U.S. doesn’t want to make it all that easy to get to Cuba.

(“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?” “I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.)